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You are here: Home / In Process / How Could You Have Loved God in Heaven

Issue 0 In Process, Poetry

How Could You Have Loved God in Heaven

Grandmother in the books I read I know
You never had the     chance to read the books I read
but in the books I read

The theologians argue     we sleep between
death and the new     life on the new Earth we don’t go to Heaven
No singing hymns forever

You sleep     and you won’t wake
Confused your strength     will come back you won’t choke
Because you have forgotten how to swallow grand-

mother remember
you were hungry
My mother     even as she fed you

knew you would someday die choking
Even as she watched you swallow
And live     swallow and live     swallow and live

How could you have loved God in Heaven
Who loves who seeks to
Be spared by love

The Revisions

First Draft

The Theologians Argue

Grandmother everybody / Has written poems
better than the poems I write for you

but grand-     / mother you have no choice
Or if your prayers

were not mistaken no
Choice I would

understand     / And my prayers also now

But in my prayers you have no choice
Grandmother you are in my prayers

and in the books I read
The theologians argue for a sleep between

Death and new life
no time in heaven

hugging or even praising God
Or cursing God for really

The only thing God could have done / Or God
could have done nothing

grand-     / mother are you awake
and do you know the answer now

did we have to be born

Intermediate Draft

The Theologians Argue

Grandmother everybody / Has written poems
better than the poems I write for you
but grand-     / mother you have no choice

Or if your prayers     were not mistaken no
Choice I would understand     / And my prayers also now
But in my prayers you have no choice / Grandmother you are in my prayers

and in the books I read     I know
You never read these books
grandmother I remember

The books you read and do not read them
And in the books I read
the theologians argue

for a sleep between
Death and new life no     stop in heaven
Or if we stop we’re only resting and no hymns forever

a / Sleep and we do not wake
Confused     our strength comes back to us we do not choke
Trying to remember how to swallow

Grandmother     you were hungry     and even as they fed you
The nurses feeding you
knew you would die choking

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