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You are here: Home / Poetry / Bildungsroman
Bildungsroman

Poetry

Bildungsroman

“When a man rides a long time through wild regions he feels the desire for a city.”
—Italo Calvino

Desires, according to Calvino, are already
memories. This is a way of saying that
language is a fist of snakes, that it is too late

for remorse if you are watching
another invisible city burn. My throat
is a thing of contradiction: too many

unoiled syllables collecting
into sharpness. The autumn of my birth,
my mother tells me, You must know this—

your name means harvest. And so
another city is raised on quiet prayer,
heads bowed, drinking spools of smoke

and river water. Desires, according to my mother,
are best left unspoken, unheard. And yet
she cracks open the back of a snow crab, splits

its bright body into shards, leaves
the redness on my plate. This is a way of saying
there is no way to know which body is yours,

whose home is burning. Desires, according to nobody
in particular, are gray, finicky things,
things to be worn and then returned.

In the same way, I imagine my mother’s past self—
the quiet line of her mouth, the softness
of her lies. My name has always meant drought.

Elane Kim is a student whose writing has been recognized by the National YoungArts Foundation, the Alliance for Young Artists & Writers, Narrative Magazine, and Bow Seat, among others. The editor-in-chief of Gaia Lit, she enjoys going on runs, exploring nature, and lime skittles. She is very happy to meet you.

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